"Dear Elmira, Is Tantra a real type of massage or more of an on-line sex thing? It seems thrilling but I never want to over step my bounds by asking for it".
-Curious but Courteous
Dear Curious by Courteous,
First of all, Beloved, thank you for asking this with respect. Most people type “Tantra” into Google and come out believing it’s a backroom password to sex, shadow work and acrobatics. So let’s clear the smoke and set this truth on the table.
Tantra is not a type of massage.
Tantra is an ancient spiritual path—older than most religions—rooted in presence, breath, awareness and the union of energy. It’s about awakening consciousness, not ordering a menu item that ends in someone touching your private parts.
Some modern practitioners offer Tantric Bodywork, but that’s not massage in the spa sense. It’s sacred, specific, deeply trained work done in safe, ethical settings—and it has nothing to do with “add-on services” or what you might find whispered about on adult websites.
Now, let’s get practical:
What’s appropriate to ask for in a legitimate spa?
- Massage
- Energy work
- Sound therapy
- Meditation
- Breathwork
- Movement
- Spiritual coaching
What is NOT appropriate:
- Asking for anything sexual.
- Asking for “Tantra” if you mean “I want someone to touch me sexually.”
- Expecting practitioners to offer things outside their training or their ethical boundaries.
You did the right thing by pausing and asking first instead of sliding into someone’s inbox like, “Sooo… do y’all do Tantra?”
If Tantra genuinely interests you…
Explore it as the spiritual path it is:
- Learn breathwork
- Learn presence
- Learn how to feel energy—not just sensation
- Learn how to be in your body without agenda
None of that requires a partner touching you. And who knows… when you learn Tantra the real way, the thrill you were looking for shows up in unexpected, beautiful places—way beyond anything the internet sells.
Stay curious, stay respectful, and stay true to the sacred within yourself.
